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[personal profile] duchessofavalon
okay, here's the requested Jeff/Gabe babyfic! I'm tempted to actualfic it, but if I do it won't happen for a while.



Hannah: SO CHATFICCING
I had this idea that I've been doodling scenes for all week
that I don't need to actually write but maybe if I chatfic it I'll get it out of my system
but it features what could be the smiliest dimpliest pair in the NHL

ChibiRHM: OH GOD

Hannah: well one of them's dimples are not always visible
but they're cute when they are

ChibiRHM: So Skinner

Hannah: and Gabe

ChibiRHM: And Segs

Hannah: no

ChibiRHM: AW KITCHENER BBS

Hannah: SEGS DOES NOT GET TO DESPOIL SKINNER
NOT ALLOWED
although I love it when they're around each other
but it needs to stay platonic lol
but remember when I said there needs to be a fic wherein Jeff Skinner isn't playing because whoops baby
and I thought maybe Jared Staal because I'd read that one pretty well-done fic
but no
I HAD A BETTER IDEA
SO MUCH BETTER
I am keeping the kid the same, though, because a teeny little dimpled girl with brown curls named Molly Skinner, how can you resist that

ChibiRHM: YOU CAN'T
IT'S VITAL

Hannah: so in this fic, the season is cancelled in December, and Jeff has been staying out because he's trying to learn to be a dad
but he knows he's not in a position in his development to take an entire season off
and he doesn't want to go back to the Checkers this far into the season, because that would cause someone who's been there working hard all season to get bumped down to Florida, and that's not cool
he'd feel like a dick if he did that
so he tells his agent he's ready to start looking at European offers, but wherever he goes he has to be able to take Molly with him

ChibiRHM: NATCH
BECAUSE BABY

Hannah: (she's about three months old at this point, old enough that he's not going to feel like a TOTAL tool for leaving her with a nanny a little bit)
and his agent is like, well we got a call from Djurgarden
and I know it's the second-tier Swedish league
and Jeff's like no no that's great
that one
and he emails Gabe and is like SKYPE??
and obviously Gabe gets right on because bros
and so Jeff tells Gabe he's coming to play in Sweden and Gabe's automatically like DUDE we should live together because he's probs been staying with his parents, I'm sure
and Jeff's like "erm, well, here's the thing"
"I have a kid"
and Gabe's like "no seriously what's the problem" and Jeff's like "no I'm serious"
and Gabe 'meets' Molly via Skype and thinks she's awesome and figures whatever he can totes handle living with a tiny human

ChibiRHM: GABE LOVES TINY HUMANS
TINY HUMANS LOVE GABE
LADIES LOVE GABE WITH TINY HUMANS

Hannah: both very true things
Gabe especially likes them when said tiny humans have dimples like his Kitchener bff
and so Jeff goes not long after Christmas, and he and Gabe end up renting a house
and Molly loves Gabe, and Jeff is playing hockey again, and he's playing hockey with Gabe again, and things are GRATE

ChibiRHM: \o/

Hannah: and he gets a nanny for when he absolutely can't be there, and all the guys from home chirp him about how he should get a hot Swedish nanny
and he's all guys rly I am here to play HOCKEY not hook up with people also look what happened the last time I hooked up with people I NOW HAVE AN INFANT

ChibiRHM: I CAN'T HAVE TWO
And Eric's all I'M DEALING WITH IT FINE

Hannah: but Dalpe keeps emailing him stupid nanny-themed porn videos
so Jeff stops checking his email
and tells Eric and his family if they need him he's set up an email Dalpe doesn't know about

ChibiRHM: Also Jilly was bugging him about e-mailing her Molly pictures so

Hannah: yeah he's got a mailing list, like every couple weeks or every month he sends out new pictures or videos
to like his family and Eric and Tanya and Cam and Cody and PK and all his other pals who know about her

ChibiRHM: Should Eric already call her "Levi's future wife"

Hannah: oh in every single email, text, skype session and voicemail
(because obvs Jeff skypes Eric, they're best bros)

ChibiRHM: Gabe's like WHAT ABOUT PARKER
And Eric's all LEVI IS MORE AGE-APPROPRIATE

Hannah: there are some epic multi-hockey-player Skype sessions

ChibiRHM: And Jeff’s like HELLO I STILL CLEAN UP HER SHIT

Hannah: with Eric and Jordy and Cam on one end
and Jeff and Gabe and some of their teammates on the other

ChibiRHM: Because Jordy has baby fever bad but Heather wants to wait until everything's more settled with hockey and stuff

Hannah: yeah, so he's got to get his fix with his nephews and Skinner's kid
and so the season goes pretty well and they settle into a pretty nice routine, and Molly starts sleeping most of the night so Jeff's playing gets better than it was, not that it was bad
but now he's really starting to light it up because he and Gabe are back on a line together
and he's getting sleep
and so life is pretty good
and Gabe helps out with Molly, but he still goes out and stuff, like with his friends, and Jeff will go out with them sometimes and sometimes he'll stay in
they still have their separate lives, they're just good at like, meshing them together
so Gabe's still going out and picking up, and Jeff goes out with him and the team but he doesn't pick up because he doesn't want another infant
and the team chirps him and Gabe about their adorable little family
and Gabe's just like whatever you're just jealous of his dimples
but one night he's gone out and Jeff has stayed in
and usually when Gabe goes out, if he picks up, he'll stay out all night because he's not going to bring whoever it is home and risk waking up Molly
and even if he doesn't, he's out fairly late
so when he gets home at like ten-thirty, Jeff's kinda confused
he's in the kitchen washing Molly's bottles, because he's just fed her and put her to bed and he's hoping she'll sleep through till morning because they have the next day off and he wants to be alive to enjoy it

ChibiRHM: YIIIIS?

Hannah: and so Gabe has obvs been drinking, he's not drunk, but he's tipsy like he's had several super girly drinks

ChibiRHM: OBVS
I feel like girls send them to him in bars to see if they can get him to drink them

Hannah: and he'll totally drink them all

ChibiRHM: And then he does because he doesn't want to make them feel bad

Hannah: and Jeff flinches when Gabe shuts the front door a little too loudly because he's hoping it won't wake Molly up, but it doesn't, so he focuses back on Gabe, and Gabe's hair is sticking up all over the place and his eyes are a little too bright because tipsy
and his cheeks are all flushed, so he's obviously been out dancing and drinking girly shit, and Jeff makes a note to chirp him about that in the morning
when he's sober enough to get offended
but he's all grinning and Jeff's suddenly super uncomfortable because he's actually really super attracted to Gabe right now, which is not an entirely new thing for him, but he's turning back around to finish washing all the bottles so he's got some for tomorrow and so he doesn't keep staring like a creep
but like, right away, Gabe is crowding up behind him, because he's touchy-feely on a good day, so when he's drunk it's even worse
so he's got his hands on Jeff's hips and his forehead against the back of Jeff's neck and he's still all smiley, Jeff can just tell
and so Jeff's like aw shit what am I supposed to do now
and then Gabe's just like "missed you", and Jeff has to laugh, because Gabe was maybe gone two hours
and he tells Gabe this
but Gabe's like "no, like, when we're playing for real and you're in Raleigh and I'm in Denver"
and Jeff would really rather be having this conversation when Gabe is sober and not kissing all over his neck
and like, making sure he can't get away
which, usually when Gabe is drunk Jeff is stronger than he is, so maybe Gabe's not quite as drunk as Jeff thought
but he's just like "well, can't play together forever"
but Gabe just keeps doing it and he's like "well we're playing together now" and Jeff's finally like "what are you doing"
and Gabe's like "seriously, you have an infant upstairs. if I have to explain this to you we have big problems"

ChibiRHM: Should he say how he feels selfish because he keeps hoping the lockout goes on FOREVER

Hannah: he does eventually, that is a CONVERSATION they have later
and Jeff is super offended and he turns around to tell Gabe so, but then there he is all smiley and suddenly Jeff realizes maybe he's all smiley because of Jeff and so fuck it, why not
and so naturally he jumps him
because it is a fact of life that if Gabriel Landeskog is macking on you in your kitchen in the middle of the night, what else is really going to happen
come on
Jeff's not that good of a person

ChibiRHM: NO ONE IS
HE'S A GOOD PERSON FOR HOLDING OUT THAT LONG

Hannah: and so obviously the next morning is the smiliest morning after in the history of mornings-after
between those two
those smiles could power most of Sweden probs
and they even get a chance to shower before Molly wakes up, and so Jeff goes to get her and Gabe grabs her bottle and they just hang out in bed with her all morning like, watching stupid tv and being disgustingly cute

ChibiRHM: FACTS

Hannah: and playing with the super cute baby
and Gabe is tweeting about how awesome she is because Jeff said it was okay if he tweeted pictures of her, although he never mentions hey this is Jeff Skinner's kid
just his housemate's kid
but people could make connections if they really wanted
and like, from then on things are REALLY SUPER GRATE
because they're playing on a line together and they're falling crazy in love with each other and Gabe is falling crazy in love with Molly and life is just awesome--
and then a new CBA is signed
and it's like, getting toward the end of their season, and they're both sort of confused because they should be happy about this
but it means they're going back to living on opposite sides of the country
and they don't want to give this thing up, because it's really really good
so they're sort of mopey about it, but they're determined to enjoy the rest of the time they've got together anyway, so they finish out the rest of their league's season before they're due back in their respective cities for like, meetings and stuff
like they would normally have end-of-season meetings
and they're getting all packed and ready to ship their stuff back and Molly gets up from her nap, and she's like eight months old at this point
her words so far have been dada and no
which she likes to use a lot
and giggle (WITH SKINNER DIMPLES)
and so Gabe leaves Jeff to the trying task of sorting their clothes out, which should not be as hard as it is because Jeff does not wear that preppy shit Gabe does
and he goes to get her, and she calls him papa, and so naturally his life is totally ruined since he's going to Denver in two days
and she's going with Jeff to Raleigh

ChibiRHM: NATURALLY
TINY LIFE RUINER

Hannah: and so he obvs gets a little teary
because he really kinda loves this kid

ChibiRHM: Do her tiny chubby hands keep pet-thwapping his cheeks
Like
WHY DAMP
WHY

Hannah: yeah
and so Jeff also gets a little sniffly when he comes in to see what's wrong
but they decide everything is going to be FINE
because after the meetings, instead of coming back to Sweden or staying in Denver, Gabe's coming to Toronto, so it's not like they're going to be apart too long
he's going to do BioSteel with Jeff and they've got all summer
and so they do have a pretty good summer, and he's got to go back to Denver briefly but he's back in Markham for her first birthday party, which they have at Jeff's parents' house, before they have to split for the season
and there are so many cliche pictures taken at the party
and she gets her cake frosting all over Gabe and Jeff
and Jeff's mother thinks it is HILARIOUS and documents it for posterity

ChibiRHM: Ugh, they'd just be such a PRETTY family

Hannah: yepppppppppp
and Jilly is a little irritated because SHE wanted to hit on Gabe
but they're all pretty cool with it
they've known him forever
and they all love him already
and Jeff and Molly both obviously love him
so
and then they have to split for the season, and Jeff goes back to Raleigh, and Gabe goes back to be captain
(and he's nervous and Jeff tells him he's stupid for being nervous)
so Jeff gets back to Raleigh and the other guys are all like ......oh
that's why you didn't come play with us
and Dalpe's like I TOLD YOU LOSERS BUT YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME
and Eric introduces her to Levi, because he's hosting a cookout thing for everyone, because he's the captain
and there's lovely team bonding and the guys think Molly is GRATE because she's all dimply and adorable
and has crazy curly hair and looks SO MUCH like her dad
and they all love Jeff so obvs they love his kid
and the season gets off to a pretty good start
and they Skype all the time, and Molly is always confused as to why she can see and hear her papa but he's not there
and Gabe always talks to her in Swedish and Jeff gets annoyed because he has no idea what he's saying
he could be teaching her that the Avs are the best for all Jeff knows
she's got several baby jerseys, ones with their names and also ones that say Daddy and Papa

ChibiRHM: lkjdfslakjsd
THOSE KILL ME

Hannah: but Jeff only lets her wear the Avs ones when they're at home watching games on tv
or when they're skyping Gabe
because he has to set an example in Raleigh okay? his kid can't wear the enemy's colors in public
and then in December the Avs come to Raleigh, and Jeff's babysitter cancels on him before morning skate, but it's open, so Cody and Tanya and Heather steal her so she can play with Levi and Nolan while they watch
so they're all standing around talking at the arena after morning skate, like after they shower and stuff, and Molly's standing beside Jeff because she wanted him to put her down
because she can walk and stuff now, you see

ChibiRHM: Or weeble wobble

Hannah: well she's like fifteen months old at this point
so she's walking, she just still has like....balance issues sometimes
she's GETTING THERE
so they're all talking and he's holding her hand so she doesn't run off
except the Avs come out of their locker room and she spots Gabe because he doesn't have his helmet on
and takes off

ChibiRHM: WEEBLE WEEBLE TODDLE

Hannah: and he hands off his stick to like Duchene and just scoops her up immediately and he's all smiley and ridiculous and she's got her hands like, patting his cheeks, and he's talking to her in Swedish, and it's just really fucking cute because he's so excited
and so is she

ChibiRHM: Does she keep saying "Papa"?

Hannah: over and over
also "mine", that's another favorite word these days

ChibiRHM: And Jeff is obviously a gooey mess

Hannah: and yeah Jeff's just standing there beaming
and they're all sort of looking at Jeff, because some of the Canes have stuck around too because they're going to have lunch before they go home and nap
and so Gabe's all in his hockey gear holding the baby and murmuring to her and Jeff has no idea what he's saying but he's really really glad Gabe is there
even if they're playing against each other later
whatever, it's foreplay
and Jeff is also feeling kinda guilty because it's hitting him that he has Molly every day, but this is the first time Gabe has seen her since September

ChibiRHM: AWWW POOR GABE
Of course the other worse part is that neither of them have gotten laid but like
First things first here

Hannah: yeah that too
but he's just like "eventually you're going to have to translate"
and Gabe's like "eventually you're gonna have to put some effort into learning Swedish, and until then Molly and I are going to enjoy talking about you behind your back"
and they've got Canes and Avs alike watching, but pffft like Gabe cares

ChibiRHM: HIS BBS

Hannah: and they're in the tunnel so he just turns to Eric and is just like "so are there any reporters around or" and Eric's like "nope" and Gabe's like "good" and kisses Jeff in front of god and everybody
and Molly is not pleased because this means they are not paying attention to HER
and she finally has both her dads in the same place and they need to play with her now

ChibiRHM: NOW
SCREECHY SCREECH EARTUGS

Hannah: so she starts pulling on Gabe's hair, which is getting kinda long (Dutchy’s been teasing him about picking up a second career as an Abercrombie model), and babbling loudly
and Dutchy is CRACKING UP

ChibiRHM: DUCHEEEEENE

Hannah: and he's like "hey Cap, are we gonna practice or are you gonna keep making out with the enemy"
and Gabe gives this big theatrical sigh and is like "okay, duty calls. see you on the ice" and throws this big showy wink and gives Jeff and Molly both noisy stage kisses like he's trying to be super obnoxious and heads out to the ice and Jeff's just grinning like an idiot

ChibiRHM: AHAHAHHAHA MAKING OUT WITH THE ENEMY

Hannah: Molly is not so pleased because her papa is leaving again, but she's trying to see him so she's not screaming

ChibiRHM: Does Jeff stay and hold her up to the glass so she gets to watch all of Papa's practice?

Hannah: oh yeah
he ditches lunch and stays so she can watch, and the Avs coach is like seriously
you can't watch our practice
and Jeff is like "I've been studying your game tape for weeks, and I'm chasing a toddler around"
"what do you really think this is going to accomplish"
and the Avs guys are like ESPIONAGE
but they're just joking and no one says anything once they get started

ChibiRHM: THAT CHILD IS TOO CUTE TO BE ENTIRELY INNOCENT

Hannah: YEP
so Jeff spends most of the practice chasing her around or letting her slobber on the boards
or standing behind the bench when it's not Gabe's turn to do drills so Molly can babble at him
and then once it's over and Gabe showers he leaves with Jeff and Dutchy and Stastny are like TAKING A PREGAME NAP WITH THE ENEMY IS NOT VERY CAPTAINLY BEHAVIOR
YOU ARE SETTING A TERRIBLE EXAMPLE

ChibiRHM: And Gabe's like OKAY YOU CAN DEAL WITH MY CRYING KID and Jeff turns pink at the use of "my"

Hannah: yep
so they have a lovely pregame nap and then have to split again and Jeff has a good babysitter for the game, aka Tanya who likes it when Molly is in the family suite because she keeps Levi occupied

ChibiRHM: (They really will end up geting married and Jeff will be forced to kill himself)

Hannah: (yep)
and the Canes win but just barely and the whole game is like foreplay and they have a FANTASTIC reunion that night ifyouknowwhatimean

ChibiRHM: OH I DO

Hannah: but then Gabe has to go back with everyone else the next day
and um things continue to suck
but also be awesome when they do get to see each other
and they live together during the summers and split during the season
and then eventually they retire and live together full time

ChibiRHM: \o/

Hannah: and are happy ever after the end

ChibiRHM: HOORAY
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